Farewell
by BlackBear53
Summary: Tony is leaving and he's taking a tour down memory lane..


Farewell

Today was the day that Tony had dreaded. He didn't want any big send off, just a quiet slip into the elevator and off into NCIS oblivion. He'd thought about calling out but he knew Gibbs wouldn't accept that. "Get your butt in here DiNozzo." He heard it like had been said. So, no, there'd be no avoiding it.

When he arrived there were the black balloons and the festooning of his desk like a tacky tiki bar. If he had to guess it would be Abby's work. Well he'd avoid that like the plague.

But those two words took him for a tour down memory lane:

Meeting Gibbs was the doorway to a new world for him. Sometimes it took him to fanciful places like imagining riding a cargo tank from an F-14 Tomcat, hurtling through the atmosphere to crash into the earth and his thinking it would be similar to an E-ride at Disneyland. Other times there were walks into blood baths that would make Nightmare on Elm Street look tame in comparison. Hospital stays for wounds, errors in judgement or the plague thanks to a crazy woman seemed to be the norm nowadays.

There were the beautiful women that he got to work with.

Kate, beautiful brunette, gorgeous eyes and probably the best sister he had. She'd torment him and teased him with her dates and about his dates. They enjoyed working together until Ari Haswari took her with a bullet to the head.

Then came Paula. There had been a brief tryst but she stopped it and it was probably for the best. Working with her after the romp had been disconcerting. Then the terrorist took her with a bomb. That had made him think about what love really was.

He acted on it with Jeanne. She is probably the one woman that he had really loved. She too walked away when she found out who he really was. It shouldn't have happened that way but the things you do for a job. The next time he'd seen her was to free her husband and her husband's co-worker.

Abby, what can you say about the beautiful Goth Chic. She is brilliant, quirky, and probably the best friend he ever had. Leaving her behind will be difficult. They'd spend nights together watching all of his old movies and it was her who kept him up to date on new music, new movies and gossip about Gibbs.

Zoe was a pleasant surprise. She showed up in an undercover op and nearly blew it for NCIS. She also brought his past back and in some ways it was his past that led up to his leaving. Oh he wasn't leaving with her. She broke it off because something got lost between them. She never felt like she was first in his life and whether or not he'd meant to he'd closed her off from the part of him that was his job. The training he'd got from Gibbs made it clear the job came first. It had been nice with Zoe while it lasted.

Ziva. She probably understood him best of all and then not at all. There had been some attraction between them. But for so many years it danced around them like fireflies. There had been nothing to grab onto and make it last. When he'd gone to the Middle East to find her they tried once again to make it work and it had for those brief moments. Giving the Star of David back was final. It was over and never going to happen again. She chose.

That seemed to be a reoccurring reaction from the women in his life.

He wanted a helpmate in life and children. He'd have to find himself first though and that is what leaving his comfort zone was all about.

He had to admit it has seemed like for the last couple of years Gibbs has been telling him to "don't be like me." Gibbs does live the job and at this point in Tony's life he wasn't willing to do that anymore. He wanted a steady job that pays the bills and reasonable hours. He could sleep in on Saturdays if he wanted to, find someone who could put up with him for the rest of their lives and have children, the little house with the picket fence, if he wanted it. In his mind's eye he could see the house, being greeted in the drive by his lovely wife and hearing their children in the back yard. It would all be his. He felt himself heave a sigh and for once it didn't feel like a fairy tale.

Then there is Tim. His personal probie; at least that is how he looked at Tim. Besides being a great partner and having an intelligence to beat anyone, he'd become one his best friends. When it came to rescuing Ziva he wanted no one else by his side, except of course Gibbs. He is brave, sincere and doggedly determined to find an answer where none seem possible. He'd miss him for sure but that's what phones are for.

Ducky…hmmmm, was the grandfather he'd never had in real life. Many a time he'd go to see Ducky only to have him one step ahead of him and giving him the answer without his ever asking. Even this decision was part of Ducky's doing. He saw the need for change in the special agent and promoted it. Tony was happy with the help.

Jimmy Palmer was his Ducky. If he needed something discussed in private, he went to Jimmy. As goofy as Palmer could be he made a lot of sense at times. This past year he and Jimmy had spent a lot of time talking about this monumental decision and how it would impact all of their lives. Many people would have objected to Autopsy Gremlin as title but not Jimmy. He felt it an honor to be associated with Dr. Mallard and autopsy.

Tim came around the corner and noticed Tony standing looking at his desk and wondered how long he'd been standing there. "Having second thoughts Tony?"

Tony, startled by Tim's voice, woke up from his woolgathering. "No Tim, I'm still going. There's a whole lot of life waiting for the Big D out there. Maybe I'll even get to meet the real D." With that he sat at his balloon festooned desk and wrote a brief note to Gibbs explaining his decision to leave a day earlier. Gibbs would just have to adjust. That was his first step to the real DiNozzo.

He stood and stepped up to Tim's desk and put his hand out to shake Tim's hand. "Good Bye Tim. I'll call you. Please say goodbye to Bish for me." He got up walked to the elevator, opened the doors, stepped inside and turned for one last look at the dreadful orange colored room. Before he hit the button he looked straight ahead and there stood Gibbs. He saluted the Gunny, reached over, punched the button and closed the doors on his past.


End file.
